Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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