just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize