I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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