honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
