I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
