I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
