I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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