College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
