Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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