You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Damn victory sex feels great
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
