What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
