We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
