What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
