I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
