found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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