all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
