I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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