Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
