Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
