you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize