Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
