Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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