and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
