so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize