i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
