Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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