I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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