So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The air taste purple.
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