I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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