You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
