we're blogging at a bar
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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