i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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