I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
