Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
