My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
