I wish I could punch you in the face.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
