watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's official drugs can't kill me
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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