Need sex. Gaining weight.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
