He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
