hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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