bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
