Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have post one night stand depression
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
