I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
