Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
