i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Michael Bay diarrhea
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
