Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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