Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
