Heybabeimwearingurpanties
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
as a side note pls kill me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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