It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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