I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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