Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
