do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
