i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
