And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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