So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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