Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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