hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
