You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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