The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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