i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
