But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
