I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And then my night got REAL pukey
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize