it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
