I wanna bring you to show and tell
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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