At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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