so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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